I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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