we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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