Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
