I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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