How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
