you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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