I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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