corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
