the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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