Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
