her vagine was all disorganized.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
