Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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