You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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