office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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