guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
