My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I party with great urgency now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize