I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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