nut hugger
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
