I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
