I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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