Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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