is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
