I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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