this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
