My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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