Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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