I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
