He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
