yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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