Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
