If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
