party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
