I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
