I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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