C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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