Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
