I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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