Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
