Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
