I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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