Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
