I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
