You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
