you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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