Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
