His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
