who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
how drunk are you?
Several
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
