hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
