Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize