it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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