Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize