Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
