I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize