i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
