i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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