I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize