Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
