I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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