Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
