I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
