i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
