haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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