I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
