your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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