Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
