The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I supernannyed him into submission
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
