I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize