And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
