I wannas sexs uuuuu
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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